Your Love Is My Drug

I... can't... breathe. I'm sitting in a panicked state of frozen silence. There is a crippling sense of helplessness that won't dissipate.

I left my phone at home today.

This is a serious issue. My mind constantly wanders, thinking of all the important (i.e. Facebook updates and notifications) that I am not receiving as they happen. I will forget for a minute and when I look to my right to look for that shining light that means I have a message... nothing.

Clearly this is a bit dramatic. (Only a bit.) I had always laughed at people who would post on Facebook "Left my phone at home todayyy. What am I going to do?!!!?" (Yes, I realized that there is only one 'y' used to spell 'today' but this is how people talk. Irritating, isn't it?) I finally understand the emotion.

I can hear all the adults saying "Kate, you're at work. You shouldn't be worrying about your phone." I know, I know. But I can't help it. We live in a society where being connected 24/7 is the norm. People sometimes say they were born in the wrong decade or time period. Not me. This is my era, the era of instant gratification. And I am the reigning Queen.

If you have never hung out with me I can understand that you might not know my nickname: The Enabler. I can make any situation seem ok and plausible; especially when it involves food and purchases. Why? Because money is just money. When you die, what good will all the money do sitting in a bank? None. (Unless you thought it out and donated it or something cool like that.) I do think that a certain amount of your money needs to be saved for the more unpleasant spending events in life: college, a new car, bills, a house, etc. But the rest? SPEND IT. When I see something I want, I think to myself "Kate, do you need this?" "Yes." "Really?" "No." "Will it make your day better?" "Yes." "Go for it." (Just kidding Mom and Dad! ::skeptic look on my face::) I do weigh the pros and cons, but if I want it and can afford it out of my spending money then I go for it.

That might seem like an off-topic train of thought but if you think about it, society made me that way. They gave me vehicles to have whatever I want at my finger tips. TiVo (my first clandestine love) and its other family members, cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, and all other social medias. If I come home and my show isn't waiting for me, WATCH OUT. Not a happy camper. Feeling connected to all of my "friends", real and Internet, is a way to instantly gratify my need to be in the loop.

I thought about driving home at lunch today to pick up Jarvis. (That's my phone's name.) I decide to write this blog instead. Sacrifices have to be made sometimes.

Only 5 more hours til we are reunited. I'm counting the minutes.

No. Really.