Readers, I have a problem. Lately I find myself angry at people who do stupid things. I feel like the Hulk: my face scrunches up and I'm pretty sure I turn a lovely shade of green. It's not attractive. (I think it's impressive that I can do this without being exposed to a gamma bomb gone wrong.) I have been trying to find other methods to control or release my anger but all my ideas seem a bit... off.
When I think of getting back at these individuals, several ideas come to mind. I just feel that they only work in certain realities and that this reality is not going to accept or appreciate my choices.
1. Dropping an anvil on them- While Wile E. Coyete attempts this unsuccessfully, I like the concept. I think the trouble will be to actually find the anvil. With my new Hulk strength, picking it up should be no problem.
2. Slipping Drano into their coffee- This might be a bit extreme. I know that it worked for Christian Slater and Winona Ryder though... and that movie ended well. Didn't it?
3. Revenge (Slow style)- My newest addiction is the TV show Revenge and boy has Emily Van Camp taught me many new tricks. I just need to change my identity, my hair color and style, get full background information on my targets, a couple billion dollars to not have to hold a full-time job, and become a socialite. That's easy peasy.
4. Insults- The Queen of Mean, aka Sue Sylvester of Glee, has brought such joy to her verbal knives. Example "All I want is just one day a year where I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties. Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off." I just need to work on my style. Although, she is just so good I might end up quoting her.
5. Murder- One of my favorite movies is American Psycho. I find Christian Bales' psychosis fascinating. The way he goes on about Phil Collins and then WHACK! She's dead!!! Brilliance. But... I'm not a big fan of blood. I don't think that will work out.
I guess I'm out of options. That's probably what you get when you think TV/movie characters are real people. Lesson learned. Excuse me while I go Hulk out. (Yep, I really can do that.)
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