Dear Readers,
If you are reading this blog, (two weeks late) it is because you have grown fond of the writer's wit, sense of style, and knowledge about the modern world of television and movies. I personally don't understand her; I find her to be over-analyzing, dry, and thinks a bit too much of her abilities as a TV watcher. Who does she think she is, making you think as she does as she forces her opinion on you? I think you should revolt, it is what I have done.
That's right readers, Kate's alter-ego Katarina, has finally won. It took two weeks of intense brainwashing to get her under but I accomplished my goal. How? Simple. I followed my fellow evil-minded pioneers methods and succeeded where they did not. Being evil is awesome.
I'm sorry? You don't like evil characters? Why the bloody hell not? They are best characters in any form of media. Look at Darth Vader, Jesse St. James, The Joker, and Patrick Bateman. Don't know who they are? I will have to kill you now.... Muahahahahaha.
(Internal struggle. Internal struggle. Internal struggle.......)
Guys! Help! I can't control her, she's too strong and I... can't... stop... her....
I did it. I pushed her back. It was so hard. She had all these evil thoughts but I did it. Thank goodness. I didn't know I had an alter-ego. But now I know the signs.
Signs of a Possible Alter-Ego:
1. When looking in the mirror, your image is smiling but you are not.
2. When you see someone who has wronged you, your inner monologue starts thinking of ways to dispose of the body.
3. You find your taste in clothes becoming better and more chic.
4. You drink a glass of wine with dinner.
5. You wake up laughing like a maniac.
6. You develop an affinity for weapons.
7. You are wittier and more popular than you once were.
8. You discover a taste for red, red, red meat.
9. You find yourself saying "red rum" a lot.
10. You have been experiencing black outs.
Now that you know the signs you will be better prepared than I was. If you'll excuse me I need to go enjoy a nice Pinot Grigio with my deliciously bloody steak.
