Celebrities are not our friends. They embody characters that writers envisioned. Some do it well, others do it better so that when the show is over you feel like you spent an hour or so with a close personal friend. Again, they are not our actual friends. But when an actor or actress does that extraordinary thing of leaving an actual impact on the viewers, we feel like they are our friend. That we have opinions and stakes in their fictional and real lives. And so when tragedy happens and we lose that friend, we don't know how to handle the news.
Celebrities are not our friends. When they die, it shouldn't effect our daily lives. The normal thing to do is to say a prayer for them, their loved ones and family, and move on. But sometimes, the celebrity made that special connection with the audience and we feel, however crazy it may be, but we feel like they were our friend. And we mourn. And we grieve. It shouldn't be personal. It shouldn't effect our day in such a way that you can only focus on the why's.
Celebrities are not our friends. Many of you know that I have a deep love for Patrick Swayze. When he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, I was devastated. A neighbor and beloved family friend had recently passed away from the same disease and I feared the worst. Of course, Patrick lost the fight against the vicious sickness and I was overcome with grief. He was the first celebrity I had ever loved. I had dreamed that one day he would teach my the actual "Dirty Dancing" dance for my wedding. I dreamed that we would be friends. However unrealistic I knew these dreams to be, I lost the chance at a reality when he passed away. But more, I lost the chance to see him on screen again, and to connect with him in that way only an powerful actor can.
Celebrities are not our friends. Obviously my life went on and I celebrate Patrick Swayze's memory a couple times a year on various anniversaries that are special to me. But the grief I felt late Saturday night was more devastating. Cory Monteith had passed away, reasons unknown still, and I couldn't understand why. How did this happen? He had just completed a voluntary stint in rehab and seemingly come out stronger. He had a loving girlfriend (Lea Michele, another of my favorite actresses), a loving work family who seemed more like a real family to outsiders, and a stable job. Of course, as the reality of the event hit harder another thought came creeping up: how would the show go on? Would I be able to still watch? How could the cast continue on? These were stupid questions but my mind was still struggling to accept the horrible news.
Celebrities are not our friends. I saw Cory Monteith perform once. I went to the Glee: Live! Tour. I screamed with giddy delight when they opened with "Don't Stop Believing". I was hysterical when Cory sang and played the drums during "Jessie's Girl". And the final encore of "Somebody To Love" finished, I remember he came to the edge of the stage, thanked us all for coming and yelled, "We love you!" And we loved him.
Celebrities are not our friends. Yesterday I was in a state of shock over the news. I knew my reaction to his death was a bit much, but I couldn't stop myself for tearing up over the course of the day. I couldn't stop myself from playing my Glee Rewind BluRay and watching his songs from season 1. I couldn't and can't even imagine what his actual friends, family, and Lea are going through. I'm sure they are reliving certain memories over and over again. And with the power of song, they will think of him anytime a song they sang together on the show or for fun plays.
Celebrities are not our friends. I know this. As I type this, I know most of you will mock me or just shake your head and say "Ohhh Kate." That's fine. I'll be done outwardly mourning today. But every time I hear a song that he sang or watch the show, I'll have a moment of sadness for my friend who left this place to soon. For his friends, family, and for Lea. And that's ok. Because in some ways, Cory was my friend. We hung out once a week for four years. We laughed. We cried. We fell in love. We jammed.
Celebrities are not our friends. But maybe, when they make an impact on another's life, just maybe they are.
"You're one of the most unique talents in the world. You always shine your brightest when you do something personal, something intimately important that defines you. Just do something that takes you back to the roots of your passion."-- Finn Hudson
