Sunday, August 28, 2011

Crash Course in TV Watching

"Are you ready to rummmmmbbbllleee!?" Actually it's more like "Are you ready for Fall TVVVVVV?!" At least in my world the darkening of the leaves, the colder weather, and wearing of comfy clothes means that my beloved Fall Premiere Season is back. There are some many familiar faces that I have missed all summer long and fresh faces to fall in love with. ::Sigh::

Now as a seasoned veteran of TV watching, I am well prepared for the onslaught of new shows, confusing time changes, and managing my returning shows. But I realize that you may not be. Before I can even give a heads up on what shows I think you should pay attention to come September, I feel it is my duty, nay, my birthright to help prepare you. This may seem simple but in reality it is a grueling day to day training that rivals actually working out. (Thank goodness because I actually have doing any physical exercise.)

1. Get a good TV: Your current TV is probably old. You need a new one. If it looks like a bubble or box, you need to join us and get a flat screen. Choosing a TV is like choosing a fine wine. You need to examine style, substance, and the overall flavor. Bigger is always better. (That's what she said. Yep. I just went there. Deal with it.)

2. Be comfortable: This is where most newbies make the first and worst mistake. You never wear jeans or dress outfits to watch TV. Rookie mistake. Invest in some super comfy sweats or shorts. Anything that feels like you could die from happiness just by wearing it is a good sign. Avoid tight shirts as well.

3. Snacks: This is the best part of TV watching. There are so many possibilities. I have a couple go-to snacks but I like the idea of a snack for a day. Mondays are all about the comedies, eat some popcorn. Tuesdays are drama, drama, drama; chips are the way to go. Wednesday is a grab bag of shows; fruit and crackers and cheese. Thursdays is TVs version of a film festival with the heavy hitters trying to take each other out; go for gold and eat whatever you want and lots of variety.

4. Viewing Parties: This can get tricky. Some shows beg to be watched with a certain crowd, others are just more enjoyable to watch with others, and still other shows make you so tense that if someone interrupts it you kill them. It happens. Give yourself two to three weeks to judge what category your lineup falls into.

5. To DVR: If you eventually get to my level of TV watching, you can not watch every show on the night it airs. It happens, and this is a good thing. This allows you to choose a show you can't wait to see til the next day. And then you also have leftovers the next day! Win win!

Now that I have shared my some of my trade secrets, I hope you listen to my advice before the fall season starts! It's coming fast! EEEEK!