What A Duck*** And Other Insights

It's a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy has to endure romantic movies for the rest of time. Wait? What?

Oh, that's right. That isn't how "the story" goes, but it is how real life works. Sorry fellas.

I was sitting in the theatre for the midnight showing of "The Lucky One" starring my OTL*, Zac Efron, this past weekend and was soon surrounded by teenagers and my age couples. (By the way, kudos ladies on pulling that double pointer off. I tip my imaginary hat off to you.) No sooner than the credits stopped and the introduction of characters were done did the snickering and commenting begin.

First tip guys: we realize you are never going to do any of things these characters do nor will you be as attractive as say a Zac or even a Ryan Gosling. We accept it. We don't judge. We also know that these guys and actions are not very realistic. So there is no need for the snide comments. Zip it.

Guys, we are really simple creatures. We enjoy a good romance. Are they all good? Absolutely not. Are they mostly cheesy? You bet. Will the lead male going shirtless for a ridiculous reason make us squeal in delight. Probably. (Although us grown women like to pretend we are above that kind of behavior.) Even though we know no real guy would ever say a line like 'You should be kissed every day, every hour, every minute', we won't object either. I wouldn't object to the scene that followed that either but I digress.

You boys think that if you go see these movies with us you will be rewarded and sometimes you might be right. But half of the time girls see these movies with their girlfriends so that they can discuss all of the ridiculous points above so as to not bother you. I personally would go see an action/horror/thriller any day of the week. ( I would only mention the hot guy factor once. I promise.) So suck it up. Be a man. Rub some dirt in it.**

I do love when the guys in the theater get sucked into the movie though. During "The Lucky One", the main 'villian' does a pretty awful thing and from behind me I heard one of the previously snickering boys proclaim, "What a duck."*** Two seconds later, I heard almost the exact phrase from another snickering boyfriend. You can't make moments like that up.

So to sum up: Boys suck it up and enjoy the moment. You might find yourself on the receiving end of romantic feelings, all for the price of two movie tickets, a drink, and some popcorn. And girls, don't expect any Ryan Goslings or Zac Efrons to take the place of your (probably really awesome) boyfriend. It's just not fair.


*One True Love
** Name that movie! Hint: Channing Tatum
***He didn't say duck.

Restraining Order: Optional

A shriek is heard from a suburb. The camera pulls out to reveal the city, then the state, then the Americas, and finally the World. You know, like how they dramatically do in TV and movies.

This is what would have occurred had Zac Efron tweeted me back two weekends ago. And no, I am not exaggerating my reaction or the fact that he actually would have been responding to me. In an effort to promote his upcoming film, The Lucky One, Zac created his very own real Twitter account ( I have to unfollow two fake ones now.) and created an event: ask Zac a question and he would answer them live. So of course I sent stimulating and riveting questions. Cut to Saturday night: I'm sitting on my bed refreshing the page every minute to see if he would respond directly to me. Alas I was left unanswered.

In an age where a good majority of celebrities and athletes and just about any popular figure have instant access to their fans, it is not unheard of to get a response back to a question these days. Most recently Kat Graham of the hit TV show The Vampire Diaries followed my Twitter. Not because I am hilarious or insightful but because I responded to her Twitter feed that I liked her new music video. (It is really the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. And I can't stop listening. No judgement.) I also posed a question to Scrubs and Cougar Town creator Bill Lawrence and he responded.

You can often find me saying, 'I can't wait to meet so-and-so!' and it's true, I can't wait. But now the thought is in my mind, 'How will I act when I meet them?'. It's a serious question, considering how much I love most of these people. If my non-response from my beloved Zac Efron resulted in my (slightly screaming) outburst of "Why Zac? Why? Why no tweet?!" (to which my dad can verify) then what will happen when I finally meet him?

I honestly don't know. I would like to say that I would be cool and collected. In all reality I will probably start crying. Now that is super attractive. Unless he digs it. Who knows. This would most likely be the response to any of my favorite celebrities.

So maybe I need some options to fall back on. Here's what I've come up with so far:

- Start by telling them how much I love them. (They all like flattery. They have very big egos. But don't tell them that.)

- List an obscure, non-mainstream movie or TV show that you love them in and tell that it's your favorite role. (That one might actually work.)

- Ask for a picture. (Don't they like getting their picture taken?)

- Offer to buy them a drink for you being so crazy. (What? I'm single. And he might be rich and looking.)

- Tell them a completely made-up or true story of your experience trying to see them. (They might take pity on you, congratulate you, or file a restraining order. Those are good odds.)

For right now we don't have to worry about my reactions. Those are all for you my lovely readers.

PS Can we not tell Zac about the HSM cut-out I got as a gift? Thanks!

PPS Um.... or my Zac Efron doll.