Oh my dear readers, today is Valentine's Day. Love is in the air.
I have a special story for you today, a true love story. A tale as old as time. A story about love, loss, and love again. It's simple enough. Girl meets TiVo. TiVo is forbidden. Girl and TiVo embark on a forbidden relationship. Ready?
Once Upon a Time...
Our story begins with a plucky heroine named Princess Juliet*. Juliet loved all things television. She was ahead of her time, using multiple VHS tapes for days of the week and a couple extra for the 4 TV's that were available in her castle. She longed for a device that would allow her to tape all of her shows at once.
On the eve of her 18th birthday, her fairy godmothers' heard her pleas and cries. The next morning Juliet received her wish: her very own TiVo!!! Overjoyed, she ran to tell the Queen. The Queen however was not to be persuaded. The Queen was sure that the beloved TiVo would distract Juliet from her studies and social life (that she still doesn't have to this day. I mean...) and forbid the Princess Juliet from ever seeing TiVo again.
Dismayed and inconsolable, the princess ran to her tower and cried herself to sleep. The King tried to intervene but could not prevail. Over the course of the next few weeks, Juliet roamed the halls with an empty look in her eyes. On the eve of her departure to... erm... college, Juliet knelt by her bed and asked her fairy godmothers' for help.
The next day flew by as these kind of days do. The Princess was unpacked and settling into her room when she discovered a brown box that had no markings on it. Curious, she opened it. TiVo!!!! Her prayers had been answered!!! While clutching her true love she found a note in the box. It read, "Dear Princess Juliet, we have heard your pleas. You may live with your true love for one year. At the stroke of midnight a year from now, you must pay the bill or TiVo will vanish forever. But beware, should the Queen find out about your love, all will be lost."
And so, a year went by. There were close calls with the Queen and King to keep the relationship a secret. Pounds were shed through nervous sweating on the day's the Queen visited. But TiVo was never found. Juliet had found a way to hide her love. (Under laundry or in a nearby acquaintances room. Um...) On the eve of the year mark, having saved all year for a longer life extension, Juliet paid the bill for 3 more years. It was a miracle.
The 3 years passed as so many true love stories do: in a blur with only the happy memories to be remembered. Juliet would forget the times where TiVo tried to tape Oprah after she expressly disliked it. Sometime during the 4th year of their clandestine love, the Queen became ill. The princess rushed home to help her sickly mother.
Juliet was tired of keeping her love from the Queen. Over the years, her friends had tried to catch her in a lie in front of the Queen and she could no longer deal with the pressure. With the Queen sedated on her throne (watching her very own cable saved by her very own DVR), Juliet let it slip that she had been seeing TiVo for some time. The Queen, who to this day Juliet is unsure of whether the Queen suspected the love affair, was too weak from fatigue to fight their love.
Juliet was overjoyed! Her love was made public and a celebration was thrown. Alas, like all great love stories the ending was not to be a happy one. Upon her return to her kingdom, a new and improved DVR system started wooing our Juliet. U-Verse won her heart and Juliet was forced to box up TiVo. To this day, TiVo sits in the castle's basement.
A true love story if I've ever heard one.
Fantastic, in the most literal sense of the word. I love that the role I played in your love story was so perfectly explained.
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