In an age where declarations of love and finding the next "original" way to do so and post it for the world to see are the norm, it's hard to enjoy the actual reality of having someone tell you they like you or even that they love you without feeling like you were cheated out of a "made for TV" moment. (Wow. Is that a run-on sentence or what? I'm leaving it.) I had the greatest pleasure this past weekend to be a part of two very good friends' wedding. She was a living princess and the look on his face when he saw her for the first time was truly the best part of the ceremony. They truly were the vision of two people in love.
While their love shone in their smiles, I was thrown back into the idea of what we all perceive love and romance to be based on the TV shows and movies we watch. Face it, we all have imagined the dock scene of The Notebook happening to us. And why shouldn't we want that kind of love and passion? But-- have we let Hollywood ruin our romantic side or have they made it better? If you have ever watched a movie or TV show with me you know that my love for love and all small acts of love is great. However, most people think I have an over-romanticized view on how love happens in reality.
So I decided to take a look at the great moments of love that I found endearing and reverse them: if a suitor (Yep. Suitor. Beau. Main Man. I can go on and on but you don't really want me to do you?) were to recreate certain moments that I deem 'swoon worthy' and see if I would actually still swoon or if I would run away. Here we go!
In Amanda Bynes' movie Sydney White, the main guy character Tyler attempts to get Sydney's attention by serenading her with a group of pledges singing a capella and then he comes out holding a rose to sing the final verse. I. Died. Now, if that had actually happened to me? It would honestly depend on a couple things: what stage of the relationship are we in? This would be adorable as a way to ask me to officially be his girlfriend. But to just go on a date? It would have to be a pretty awesome song and voice to have me not smile politely then decline.
This next moment is as absurd as my reason for loving it. My favorite movie of all-time is Dirty Dancing and I fell hard for Patrick Swayze. Hard. To this day I celebrate his birthday and the day he passed. It's a thing. Throughout the course of the movie how could you not fall for bad boy Johnny??? But what really sealed the deal was the finger move, the "come hither" motion he gives Baby when they first dance together and then again in their "final" dance. If this were to happen in real life? I gotta say, yes. That finger move with a cocky grin would just drive me nuts. As cheesy as it is, and I fully acknowledge that it is monumentally cheesy, I would be won over with that simple gesture.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention some aspect of The Notebook or really any romantic gesture from a Nicholas Sparks' adaptation. The man knows what women want, ok? We want a strong, sensitive man who isn't afraid to be vulnerable, is good looking with or without a scowl permanently on his face until the female reaches inside his heart and breaks that hard exterior. Am I right? I'm right. I own all of the movies and recently had a marathon of them from the first (Message in a Bottle) to the most recent (Safe Haven) and I gotta tell you: while they are the most romantic collection of movies that exist, I would not fall for any of the moves in them. I know you might scoff at such a sentence. "Kate, that's a bald-faced lie!" It's not, I promise! And here's why: we all might secretly wish to have our own Landon, Noah, John, or Logan, the reality of their love is that you know as you are watching the movies that it is fake. The cheese of it oozes from the dialogue to the glamorous love scenes. (Don't get me wrong. Those are great. Really, really, really great.) But in what world would your guy actually build you your dream house after you broke up with him? Or cross off more than 5 of your "to-do before you die" items on your VERY FIRST DATE? I'm not saying that they don't happen, but those are the Pinterest stories that we read about, sigh, and then say to ourselves, that's the exception not the rule.
In television it's a bit more realistic (or I am just blanking on those swoon worthy moments. Let's go with more realistic.) just because TV is usually more grounded in the people and not the story. One show, my favorite, was a big fan of the "big romantic gesture" and that would be One Tree Hill. There are two moments (Actually there are more than two but I'm only going to bring up two. Geez, get off my back!) that stand out to me as good examples. The first is from the first season when popular-bad boy Nathan is getting tutored and playing the classic "make the best friend of my enemy fall in love with me so I can ruin his life" game with his half-brother's best friend Haley. I know, and this was just the first season! Anyways, during a tutoring session Nathan offhandedly opens a Cracker Jack box and pulls out the prize, a bracelet. He smiles, slips it on her wrist and says, "Don't say I never gave you anything." It's a small gesture that soon becomes a staple of their love story. The second example is in the fifth season after a four-year time jump and a season's worth of denying his love for Peyton, his high school soul mate and after being left at the alter by his fiancé Lindsey, Lucas goes to the airport and calls someone and tells her that he wants to elope in Vegas. In the season six premiere you find out that he indeed called Peyton and they reunite in the airport terminal. The real-life test? Well any small token would be received in a warm manner, and probably cherished should the relationship become something more. But calling me after spending a year telling me that you don't love me, I ruined your life, and that I should have never come back home to tell me that you do in fact love me and want to spend the rest of our lives together? No thanks.
The last and probably most realistic moment and also the most ridiculous of them all would have to be in You've Got Mail. I love this movie. Love. And the last twenty minutes are truly the best romantic movie (short) that has ever been put on film. It begins with Tom Hanks' character Joe Fox bringing flowers to Meg Ryan's sick Kathleen Kelly. That apartment scene is forever imprinted in my mind as the perfect rom-com sequence. He has realized that he loves her and would take just being her friend but is still willing to see if he can make her fall in love with him. But here's where my skepticism kicks in. In the end, Kathleen discovers that her enemy, the person who basically destroyed her career, is the same person who she fell in love with online. And you know what? She doesn't care. She cries a bit and some perfect dialogue comes out of Hanks' mouth to smooth it over. In real life, you can't tell me that getting flowers doesn't seal the deal with a guy. I have it on good authority from some close friends that the day they received flowers from the guys they were dating is the day they considered them to be their boyfriend. But what I have a hard time believing is that if someone made you lose your way of life, you would forgive them so quickly. I'm not saying you would never forgive them, but that you would only need a sad smile and the brushing away of a tear to make it all better.
There are so many other moments that it is hard to pinpoint them but I guess the verdict for today is that small gestures are more likely to be received than the grandiose ones. And most guys are going to go for the small ones anyways. And that's why we have movies and TV; to fulfill that small gooey center of our heart where the deeply romantic soul lives.
We can keep the cynical exterior and I think that Friends With Benefits sums it up nicely:
Another bonkalicious so delicious post. I’m glad that you see the overly grandiose actions of love as unreasonable. I always cringe at The Notebook. And yeah, I’ll proudly claim that the day my man gave me flowers as the day I decided I was his for good. Romantic suckers.
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