40 Days of No Closure

I don't know what I expected. I knew this was coming. I predicted it. But still... GAHHH!

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I have become obsessed with a blog called "40 Days of Dating". It detailed two friends experiment to see if they could date each other and break their "bad" relationship habits. If you have not had the pleasure of reading the most addictive blog here it is: http://fortydaysofdating.com/

Today was Day 40 and I was hitting the refresh button every five minutes, waiting until the screen changed. When it finally did, I was filled with terror. I knew it wasn't going to end with a happy ending and I was prepared to come to grips that this wasn't a happily-ever-after story.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

You actually don't know where they stand after 40 Days!!! They have a video of them reading some of the last blog entries and then they get really sad and just look at each other. They say,  "I'm sorry" and then walk away. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????

I know they signed with a talent agency during an unexpected break right before Labor Day weekend and I'm super jealous of whoever gets to write the script for what I think is the most interesting modern love story I have heard in a while. But what happened to them? Are they still friends? Did they realize that they couldn't even be friends anymore? No, we don't know. It just ends.

This is becoming a trend in recent years in movies. Why give the audience an actual ending when we can just end and let them waste their lives trying to figure out what happened. OK, that may be a little harsh but that is how it can feel after investing your time and emotions into stories and characters. Obviously these are real people with real emotions and a happy ending was never really in the cards for them.

I have written before about one of the best romantic movies I had ever seen didn't even have a happy ending, but at least it had an ending. Too many movies just think that the audience will be OK with wasting their time to not have any form of closure. Some of you may argue that that's the point of those films and I am here to say: No thanks! Life is too full of things that you can't get closure on. Why would I waste 2 hours, 2 weeks, or 2 years of my life in a fictional (or in this case real) story only to be told that the conclusion is there is no conclusion.

I'm still hoping that there will be some kind of follow-up interview between the two people who I became emotionally invested in while reading about their attempt to find love. One article I found today suggested that while the relationship was fake and new school in the way it was presented, the way the romance both individuals attempted to woo the other with was old school in that it is an element missing from most modern relationships.

Their romance was simple; they really only had to see each other every day. The other rules they made for the experiment were just as simple. They took it steps further with thoughtful and simple gifts, like hand-written notes about why they liked the other person or a cute napkin drawing. This kind of romance isn't dead, like some say chivalry is, but rather it is laughed at and made fun of by most people. Why do we look down on small gestures of affection that were once commonplace in a courtship?

I guess I don't have answers to the questions I'm asking, either from the lack of a successful relationship or maybe because no one does. I like to think that small gestures are coming my way, in whatever form they may be. I hope that I can accept them when they do and not treat them like society does. I do believe that everyone deserves their own version of such a sign of affection, whatever that may be.

 

UPDATED:

 

So I sent this blog out into the world and one of my friends sent me back an article about Tim and Jessica and what their current status is. As I finished reading it I realized why this is affecting me so much: I feel like I got broken up with. These people shared their lives, deepest thoughts, and intimacies with the world and they didn't even know the impact that it would have on themselves. My heart knew they wouldn't stay together, there were too many hurdles for them to get past. I did hope that they could still be friends. I have the feeling that not even that is possible. I guess the real experiment was how do you acknowledge your faults and then once you've done that, can you change them and still be yourself. For right now the answer is we don't know.